|
|
| |
|
Turbo Gibbon Masher
Post #212, SIFTI Avenue
Our Internet, Canada
Microsoft
ATTN: Hotmail Team
1 Microsoft Way
Redmond, WA, 98052
Dear Hotmail SPAM filter engineers and programmers,
Your SPAM blocking service stinks. It appears that the Junk Mail folder icon is merely there as a placebo, or for cosmetic purposes, because as it stands all SPAM is delivered directly to my Inbox. Now I'm not here to say that I'm a particularly smart (or hygienic) person, nor am I trying to suggest that I could do a better job than you, but please allow me to share my thoughts on how you may improve your SPAM filtering technology:
- The last 437 messages that had the subject line "HornyHousewife4U", I marked as SPAM. Therefore, you may reasonably conclude, from now until my tragic death, that I am not interested in horny housewives (unless of course I get married and my wife is feeling a little randy). All emails with a subject line containing both the words "horny" and "wife" may be immediately blocked by your filters (unless I get married, my wife is feeling a little randy, and the email came from her work address).
- I signed up for your Web-mail service in 1996 yet at no time have I ever fired-up my email and sent a quick note to my long-time friend "RolexReplicas". My other buddy "ROLEX_Repli-cas" is probably feeling a little neglected too, never having received an email from me. This would suggest that I don't actually know anybody named "Rolex Replicas", and therefore it can be assumed that any email originating from a person with such an unfortunate name is SPAM. From this point forward any email that comes from an individual, first name Rolex, may be immediately marked as SPAM and deleted by your filters. If I marry a woman named Rolex, well, that's my own fault.
- Every day for the last 4 ½ years, I have received an email from "GoldenPalace.com". Every day for the last 4 ½ years, I have marked this email as SPAM. When I get to a full 5 years of this pattern, you may assume that anything GoldenPalace.com sends me is SPAM and have your filters block it immediately. Yes, you should wait until the full 5 years have passed - I would hate to have a sender blocked because I identified their emails as SPAM 1824 times instead of the full 1825 times. If my future wife gets a job at Golden Palace, I'll be ok with the fact that she won't be able to email me and will have to remind me to buy sour cream by way of a phone call.
Warmest regards,
Cialis_V14gra T. H00dia-di3tPi11s
|
Get the hell off our internet.
|
Context
Permalink
